一个海外华人的尴尬

我在国外遇见的朋友，中国人比马来西亚人更多；能称兄道弟的也是来自中国人（包括香港）。我也越来越关注中国的新闻，在一个中国人的面前我可以滔滔不绝地高谈中国政治，中国的未来和中国的问题。但有一次，一个中国朋友告诉我说：“你怎样也不是中国人，当然可以轻松地发表对中国的看法。” 顿时我审查自己问到：是呀，我不是中国人，为什么对他们发表那么多的意见吗？我有资格吗？

这是一位海外华人的尴尬。我自小读中国古书，从水浒传到三国，从二月河的〈雍正传〉到柏杨的〈中国人史纲〉；思想里知道自己是堂堂正正的华人，却不是所读史书里前辈生长在同一片土地；与中华文化有切不断的血脉，但却犹如远不可及。我是马来西亚人，我无法选择我的出生地，我爱我的国家，但是我却对中国这个国家有着深厚的情义。我并不爱护共产党，这里的情义无关政治，而是纯粹的血脉相连，犹如看到自己的祖家。当你面对着一位中国朋友面前，大家拍拍肩膀，口里说着比说其他语言都舒服的华语，你会黯然发现坐在你面前的朋友与你没有差别，就如你就多了位兄弟或是姐妹似的。可是无论你如何对中国人和中国充满亲切感，我始终不是中国人。我有我要爱护的祖国，马来西亚！

那位中国朋友说的很不错，中国再要如何好和如何坏也真的只有中国人自己来定夺。身为所谓的海外华人再有意见也不能为这个国家做什么。这就是一个海外华人的尴尬，一个被浓厚中华文化熏陶长大的华族，一个对自己民族历史很了解的华人站在别的土地上只能默默地看她，却不能做什么，那么除了关心就是关心。

我一直相信这个世界将来会是一个 无国界的地球，没有地方能够独立自足，国际间的经济网络让我们分不清国籍界线。一个人无论站在何处都能触觉到地球的任何角落，无论身在什么地方都不重要了，也没有区别。那么那个时候一个海外的华人关心起中国的大事，因该没有今天的尴尬吧！？

London trip...伦敦之旅

What you think about London before you got there? London bridge? or big head red army? Anyway, with my experience some places are recommended but you have to consider your situation. I just sharing with you some of my experience there:

1. Oyster card

After arriving first thing you have to do is to buy an Oyster card which like Touh n' Go in Malaysia. How much it does help? For example one trip underground train is £4, if you use Oyster is £1.50; Bus is £2 without Oyster but just £0.90 if you got it. It is more than 50% cheaper. So, you just pay £3 for deposit and use it during the trip and then refund back the deposit when you back, as simple as that!

2. Westminster 

After you bought an Oyster, you have to take a little train map. With the map you can started to plan your trip. Westminster probably is a good place to start, almost all the famous attractions are nearby, by walking, along the Themes River you can reach from Wesrmister to London bridge. This was my first journey in London. 

3. Tower Bridge

Before that I thought this bridge was called London Bridge, because of the rhyme: London Bridge is falling down, falling down......... Actually I were wrong, this bridge where 'falling' down is called Tower Bridge instead. Regarding the wikipedia the bascules are raised around 1000 times per year, so 1000/365=2.7 times per day. I was so lucky to see the bascules rose up on that day!

 

4. London eyes

Despite the old structures in city, London eye is the only new structure in the city. It huge, arrogant, and iconic. Some people may struggle whether wanna to pay £15.50 to take a tour, but what i am recommended is take the evening or night tour will be more worth. It is because the night view is amazing and give you a lot of surprising. On that day, we are the last tour and probably do not have many people during that time, so you no need to spend hour and hour to get a ticket or line up to the capsule. 

5. Changing guards, Beckingham Palace

 I've been waiting there for 1 hour, under the hot sun to see the most 'famous' show out of the palace. The changing guard really seem like a show that done purposely for tourists like me. But if you do not have any specified plan, you can wait the guard changing and have a walk in the park near by. By the way, please don't forget the changing just do once a day, 1130am. Don't miss it!

23 July...我的生日

23 of July, is my birthday. But what the special apart form my birthday?? it is many others people birthday as well (haiyo, who don't know). The special on my birthday is I know at least 5 others people have same birthday with me. The thing is this 5 people have strong similarity with me: 4 are architects and 1 is my girl friend.  3 of the 4 architects are same school with me, and the other one is the famous architect called Richard Roger.  So are 23rd July born babies destined to be architect?? Now I know why I am studying here=.=

Oh, but why Choy Wan is the only one not an architect?? Hahaha....actually she want to be an architect as well but plus one more word= architect's wife! She is the most powerful person in the building industries, architect control the building, and she control the architect, how powerful it is, you know!

23rd July, day for me, day for architects , day for architect's wife!!!

今年的生日是我们第二次在国外过，去年是在香港，今年是在英国。每年的生日我都尝试低调处理，一是不想劳烦大家，二是生日天天都是‘生日’。中学时每一次生日我都会选择做一些善事来做，比如说捐轮椅去老人院，或派面包给乞丐。。。这两三年我却把它成为一个理由让我与朋友亲人们聚一聚，所以我不会只选23号这一天庆祝，因为只是让大家一起的理由而已。

这样就走过了人生的四份之一，庆祝生日也不像以前那么的重要了。其实佛说生日就是母难日，最因该庆祝的不是我们自己，而是用她生命来换我们生命的母亲。但今年的生日我只能在电脑荧幕上见到母亲而已，而不能牵牵她的手。愿天下母亲都能平安地诞下自己的宝宝。。。

以下的是今年在我生日留下痕迹的朋友和亲人：

All girls ( Joice's house, London)

All boys (Joice's house, London)

My Uncle and Aunt (China Town, London)

Amo friends (HydePark, London)

Buddhist Soc friends (Sushi Restaurant, Edinburgh)

This two?? no need to introduce la!

London trip 19th to 22nd..伦敦我来也

The blog will be frozen for few day due to my London Trip, sorry for any inconvenience :p

东主有喜，下伦敦去了，部格落暂时冻结！ 

P/S: Mak Jewei, 这几天不用再看我的部格落啦，回来再和你分享！

Lake District...湖之旅

Last weekend 5 of us rent a car went to England national park, Lake District. We travel with car, we stop wherever we thought. The outing was casual, just stop and eat all along the way. We walk in the lake, climb mount and rowing boat. Even it was a day trip but it was really a memorable experience, sometime a simple trip may be brought to you  a lot more surprising (at least it is my first driving in the UK :p)

驱车穿过松树林，沿着英国最大的湖行走，半途中见到美的风景就停下，吃吃零食，拍拍照片，然后驱车再走。这段旅程没有计划，只有依赖着一个GPS引导器来行走。对路程也没有任何的期待或认识，随时随地停车，下车，上路。爬过山看过水划过船，太阳一直陪伴着我们到黄昏，我们也看到夕阳无限好的美丽。简简单单的旅行反而有时侯带来更多的惊喜和回忆。。。

 

Axxu restored....我还原了

My long hair where had been keep it for 10 months and 11 days finally cut today. You know what are the differences after hair cut? I found there do have a lot of benefits  after cutting the hair, such like:

1. My head lost weight 300g than before, now i can move my head easier.

2. I can still see the road in front while strong wind blew.

3. I can hear the car 'hong' clearer, so now is safer on the road.

4. I can hear my hand phone louder 30%.

5. The hair dry 20 minutes faster than before, so i can sleep earlier.

6. The shampoo can save up to 30% 

7. Dandruff less 50%

8. Performance when playing squash up 70%

9. Save 50% time for early preparation before work.

10. Lastly, my handsome index increased at least 90% :p

理发犹如剪三千烦恼丝，我现在终于还原了。我的70年代的发型终于回到本世纪了，从温拿的时代走进了周杰伦的时代，我之所以留长发再剪短发是体验无常的变化和时间的流转。东伟，我不相信这可以转运但只想重新做人。。。哈哈哈！

I was fired...我被辞退了

Today before i finished my work my boss certainly told me that he was struggler to work out our projects, because of economy down so many projects are slowing down or hang on. He so sorry to ask me  take off after next week, in the other word, he can't afford me to work in the firm anymore. Finally he fire me! I replied to him said I understood his situation, and don't worry about me. Ya, i've known his situation long time ago, due to his unprofessional architectural skills and unorganized management skill, it is not surprise. 

But nothing is caused by a reason, I am the one who fired because of my personal attitude  as well, because I am the one who challenge him most of the time and I not always agree his opinion. Anyway, it is a lesson for both of us and i think it is fair enough to us. At least I have done what I can and he has made his decision. Wish him all the best in his career!

老板‘终于’辞退我。今天放工前，他突然间对我说现在他在公司上非常烦恼因为几乎所有的项目都停下来或延迟，所以他希望我做‘埋’下个星期就离开，因为他没有能力请我了。我回答他说：“没问题，我很明白你的处境，不用为我担心，做‘埋’下个星期就走吧，没什么” （我们之前的协议是到8月尾的）走到今天的地步，我和他都有责任。从一开始我就看的出他做事情的态度，非常不专业，管理方面更糟糕（如果要我把所有细节写出来我想可以写两张A4满满的），所以他在事业上频频挫败不惊讶的。而我呢，开始时是因为零用钱和工作经验的做，但日子一久我越来越看不惯他不专业做事手法。所做的设计和项目都被业主和规划部门弹回来，（我来了那么久，他真的没有一项工程成功过）。在他的领导下我也开始失去信心和工作热诚，我开始很无顾忌地说我的意见，我开始不听他的指示做我要的设计；我们之间的不信任就越来越深了，所以在他最困难的时刻把我辞退我也觉是对大家公平的决定。

有人说我为何不耐一耐而损失一个月的薪水呢，老板嘛。是的，一般的观点来说我这样做不值得，但换个角度来看做为一个建筑师最大的回馈是看到自己用心和花大量心思的设计能够成功，若与办事能力差的老板一起做，又要听他说的去做，导致项目都难产，除了薪水还有什么意思呢？就如一个医生医人总是医死人的，那么继续领薪水又有什么意义呢？既然如此，乘他自己认为公司还未出现严重危机时，叫我离去是最好的选择。

无论他在事业上如何不成功，他不可否认是一个‘好’老板，对员工善良很随和，还每天冲咖啡给我们喝（只是每次忘记准时发薪水）。好的一面，我还是需更他好好学习，但是我不会因此而苟同他在专业上的失策。最后我还是祝福他事业日后有很好的进展。

This few days...这几天

彩云在Glasgow偷吃苹果！

Seem long time didn't wrote my blog, it is because this few days my leisure time was full. After my tooth treatment i have a quite busy day life as below:

Saturday: Went to Glasgow, have BBQ with a Malaysian senior who study Phd there. Overnight in his house.

Sunday: Arrived to Edinburgh on the morning. Take couple of hours study Buddhism teaching on the afternoon and send the summary to friends.

Monday:Working on daytime. I have started written an article about Buddhism Architecture at night.

Tuesday: Working on daytime, rushing for presentation. Take whole night to continue writing the article. Finally done the study and send out to my friends.

Wednesday: Working on daytime. 730pm to 930pm have dinner with a Malaysian friend. 1000pm to 1230pm having a drink with 3 China friends. And now writing  a blog.

That is why i didn't touch my blog until today, my time really full during this few days. I think I need to rake sometime to totally rest and do nothing. In spite of busy I really enjoy my life, I dunno how long I can live but as long as my life is full.

这几天真的很充满。补牙后一天我就去了Glasgow参加一位马来西亚朋友的BBQ，还在那儿过了一个晚上。当然那一天就和这位学长谈了多话题，也认识一些新朋友。星期天一早搭火车回到来爱丁堡，就睡了半天。晚上的时间，我用来研究佛学（关于‘业力’）然后把资料结合起来传送给朋友。

星期一早上上班，下班后开始写一个关于佛教现代化建筑的文章，基本上写作化了我整个晚上。

星期二早上上班，下班后继续写文章，一直到凌晨一点钟终于把文章写好，一个晚上又过去了。

星期三早上上班，下班后约了一位马来西亚朋友吃饭，一直到九点多。过后十点左右，又与一斑中国朋友聚会，一谈也就到了十二点半。冲了凉我就开始写这个布格落。

感觉这几天我的脑一直没有休息，节目一直充满着我的生活，研究写作拿去了我大部份的时间。虽然我没有时间看戏听歌，睡觉时间也相对的少（一般我睡六个小时）但我很享受这样的生活。至少我在工作之余的时间可以做我有兴趣的事情，见见想见的朋友。其实人生短短，我不在意我能活多久，但只要我的生命是充实精彩的，就算短暂的生命, 也满足！

Toothache...牙痛

Toothaches is the most scary thing in this world i think. Each time i got tooth problem i try to ignore it and think it will be recover by itself. Unfortunately, teeth do not have any self-recover system and thing just became worst. This time in the UK, my tooth pain until I cannot 'tahan', cannot sleep and cannot eat, so badddd! Therefore I forced to see the dentist (probably dentist is one of my unwelcome  professions). However, dentist said I have two choices: 1. Have a surgeon, will course me £200, and take a complicated  procedures; 2. Take it off, fast, save money and settled! I havn't decided yet, so she just help me to do a temporary filling. Dear friends, which choice do you think i have to take? Could you let me know who expect in dental? Helpppppp!!!

天不怕，地不怕，最怕就是牙痛！前两天有一颗牙发炎了，开始从牙齿痛，再来是脸颊也痛，最后延伸到头部也剧痛。一直期望它自己能复原，但是昨晚痛的连觉也睡不着了。忍到早辰，赶快打个电话去公司请假，然后跑去看牙医。牙医应该是我最不想见的专业人士之一，我对他们有着抹不去的阴影，所以不到最后关头我都不愿见牙医。不过还好，今天牙医旁的护士是位美丽年轻的苏格兰女生，把我的心也安了三分。

牙医看了我牙齿后给我两个选择：1。需找一个更高专业的牙医帮我洗牙和补牙，她只帮我暂时性的补和止痛，费用是200磅。 2。拔掉它，一了百了，省钱又省时间。她要我做选择。经过一番的挣扎比较，我告诉她说拔掉就永远回不来了，不需要去到那么的绝吧？专科呢，手尾很长，花费很高，我没有这样的钱和心思。然后呢我告诉她就尽量‘暂时性’的补吧，让我回去再考虑，若要拔的就再回来给你拔也不迟。“留的牙齿在，不怕没菜吃”，能留就留吧！

朋友，你们有什么建议吗？天呀，牙齿为什么要让我做出比结婚更难的选择呢？

Graduation...毕业

                  

 

I have joined the Edinburgh graduation for my friends this few days. It remind me that how great the graduation was last time. I understand many students wish graduated as earlier as possible and as easy as possible. Ya, admitable graduated is a most important second in our student life, but don't forget it is just another beginning. The rest of the 40 to 50 years still for you to get your final 'degree' which called ' Degree of Life to death', indeed this is the most important and hardest degree  for us to complete. 

这两天参加了几位朋友的毕业典礼，看到他们终于顺利完成学业真的为他们高兴。回想我自己来英国前也在马来西亚毕业过一次，也是第一次。毕业真的是每一个悻悻学者梦寐以求的一刻。毕业典礼的时间虽然短暂，但背后却包含了我们多年的泪和时间，我相信能够走上台上亲手接领自己的那张文凭绝对是幸福的。但我们可别忘记，短暂的毕业典礼后并不是一切的结束，而是另一切的开始。走入社会的学科将比我们在学校的课业来的更长更挑战性，我们大家都需要继续修这门‘人生学科’，不能因此而停下，直到我们到‘最终’的毕业为止！

                 

爱大马来西亚医学系的毕业生，祝福你们咯！！